From the Weekly Pasadena News:
FICUS TREE MISTAKENLY PLACED ON BALLOT
Immediately wins endorsement of Balvin, Rude, Wilson, Bogaard and Tyler
DATELINE PASADENA: In an apparent clerical error, the ballots for the District 7 run-off election on April 21st replaced the name of Terry Tournek with Tree Ficus. Reached for comment, City Registrar of Voters Marjorie Blumkin explained that while the error was correctable before the election, the fact that only two people called about the mistake indicated a clear lack of concern on the part of voters. "Both of the calls came from people wanting to find out how to get yard signs showing support for the tree's candidacy," Blumkin said.
Crystal Balvin, known for her slalwart support of trees everywhere and complete disregard for people who are different than herself, immediately endorsed the tree, calling it the most qualified candidate to serve on the city council. "Trees don't have ears, so there's no way it can listen to anyone, so I am reasonably assured it will support other trees," Balvin said. "Besides, it's over 128 years old, so it's almost my age."
Reached for comment while vacationing at Plato's Retreat, Pasadena Mayor Bill Bogaard quickly endorsed the tree. "Here in Pasadena we value trees above all else, of course I am enthusiastically endorsing it," the mayor said.
Sid Tyler was more effusive. "It's about time the fauna of Pasadena was appropriately represented. Why should only people have a vote on the city council?" Tyler queried.
Reached for comment at its East Colorado address, the Ficus Tree refused to comment.
A South Lake Avenue storefront was hastily turned into "Ficus for Council headquarters. Manning the phones for the fauna were Marcia Rude and Nina Chomsky.
An early edition of tomorrow's Pasadena Star-News reveals the local daily had switched it's endorsement. A banner front page headline declares, "Ficus is the one for Pasadena." In his column, editor Larry Wilson notes the tree has the deepest Pasadena roots and will surely welcome all Pasadena under its leafy branches. Wilson ends his endorsement: "It's the one candidate who won't be able to complain about how lame my newspaper is."
That part would be true.
Satire Wayne. Enjoy!
D.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
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11 comments:
LOL
Do we have a Lorax? Who speaks for the trees?
The tree folks and the arts folks have hijacked the city government and seem set on insuring that no business is conducted at city council until all resources are directed to their "vision" for spending as much money as possible on trees, art, and as much money as possible on studying trees and art. Isn't time better spent on critical issues affecting our survival in the middle of this recession? These folks have way too much time on their hands and must not have any of the financial worries that the rest of us have. Enough already!
I whole heartedly agree with the poster who says that the "tree folks and the art folks have hijacked city government and seem set on insuring that no business is conducted at city council until all resources are directed to their "vision" for spending as much money as possible on trees, art..."
The vast majority of the City residents (middle class, working class and poor) have been excluded from having a say in our local government. The "elite" friends and relatives of the Mayor and some City Council members have been allowed to impose their will on the rest of us.
I have started investigating the recall process of some our local wealthy officials. Maybe if some of these folks are booted out of office, the rest of us will no longer feel disenfranchised. (By the way, I am not refering to Council member Robinson).
You should add Robinson to your recall list. She's the most inept and non engaging council person I've seen in 34 years.
Give it a rest, Anonymous. Vast majority excluded, my eye! Vast majority opted out is more like it. We just had municipal elections for crying out loud. Did you bother to vote? Just asking. The "vast majority" of Pasadena didn't. Put up a good candidate. We already have term limits and a recall process... they're called elections.
Eric E.:
Yes, I did vote for the School Board candidates this past election. The District I live in didn't have a City Council seat open this time.
Obviously you are a friend of the Mayor or a White Council person
All the recall Robinson stuff has done is guaranteed that I will never vote for Henderson, who by the way got stomped last time.
Oh yes, you have me pegged. But which am I? A friend of the mayor or a White Council Person. Since none of the white council members are named Eric (you were unaware of this?), by deduction I must be a friend of the Mayor. Brilliant!
Oh wait, I mis-read your comment. You wrote "White Council person," not "white councilperson." There's a joke in there somwhere, but I'm not sure what it is.
Robinson should be recalled or she should resign. Henderson sure ain't the answer either. That cats gotta ego a mile wide and a mouth even bigger. I don't know what the answer is but we ain't got it happening in District 1.
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